Last Thursday was am amazing (and exhausting) day. The play was a success!

I best part, I got the audience to cry :-P (I will not name names... hehehe!)

It was a great feeling of accomplishment. People experienced the story I wanted to tell.

My cast was the best! Marvin, Mindy, Harold, & Laura made everything work! :P

JOSH!!! You're a genius!!! I love your arrangement and score!

I was really crying but I forced it in :-P My nerves help me with this. heheh!

ANYWAYS, some people are asking for a re-staging... and I'm leaning towards a "yes" :-P FREE ADMISSION of course! and on a Saturday na! (Maybe after HOLY WEEK?)

First off, because there are a lot of people who weren't able to watch. and secondly, I wasn't able to capture the whole play on video (Forgot to turn it one before the overture!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK? Should I? 

thank you. :)

My mom's test results are negative. :)

I'm so happy :)

Thank you guys :)

God Bless :)

Thanks to Jenny & Ryan for the invite! Congrats and best wishes!!!

Jun! Lasing ka na nang dumating kami! hahah! But nice seeing you again bro!

Awesome time! I went with Reg and her friend Monica and Toff just followed. And then we bumped into Jed!  So many drinks so little time!!!  The Longest bar I have ever seen!!!! Great music too!!!

Too bad we forgot to take pics!!! haay... it just slipped our minds I guess! So I am now making up for it by blogging about it :)

While partying, it hit me that I haven't partied that hard in quite a while (Fiamma Night wasn't that hard compared to this one... Vicka, Krista, Tin... I miss you guys na...). It's fun to party with good friends. :)

PEOPLE, we need to party more! Yun LANG!

***

On another note: sometimes, people can just be plain mean... with no excuse...

2008 was not the perfect year... at least for me. A lot happened this year; both good and bad. I do not want to dwell on the minor details. I just know that this year could have been way better than it was.

So many things crammed into one year... I am thankful its all over. Call me pessimistic, but it's what I know and how I feel: I did not like 2008. I lost a lot of things. I gave up a lot of things. But I gained wisdom, I guess. I gained only a little, but at least I did. I also gained a few gifts... new friends, new knowledge... and for that I am thankful...

2008 was not my year. It was always someone elses. But I let it be that way. I gave myself to the people I loved dearly and forgot that I had a life of my own to make. I forgot to make things happen for myself. I stood in the backstage as every one of them took a bow. I never really got credit for the help I gave. I won't claim I did a lot, but I did some... more than what was expected of me.

But I won't be bitter. I don't want to be.

So my resolution for 2009 is to make things happen for myself. 2009 will be my year.

I have often been self-concious... afraid of what people would think or say about me. I've been afraid of looking too selfish or too self-centered.  But I'm done worrying about that. Like someone said to me, "Live your self, and F**K those who try to bring you down..."

I write this a few minutes before the new year, and leave it behind in 2008. 2009 will see a new me, so I must let go of the old me and leave it behind.

It's about me now...

GET READY PEOPLE... :D

Yup! Its official. This Christmas is f***ed up. I will spare the details for another time, but my hands itch for a vent.

You don't ignore me for weeks and then expect me to be happy when the only contact we have is when you need something. Don't go demanding anything from me. You want me to keep out of your business, then I will.

I hate it when people are so self righteous. They don't even give a F**k who they're gonna ruin christmas. I meant no harm. But surely, your reaction was intended to make me feel bad. 

And please, those who have no intention but to criticize this entry, please keep it to yourselves for now. I've had enough of self-righteous crap recently. Mind your own business if you can't be a friend. 

I've been patient. I've been keeping all this in. And for what? To spare ruining your holiday. What about mine? Don't give me that self righteous crap and not take any blame for yourself.

Sometimes, people can be so F**ked up.

Even though I know none of you guys will watch, I might as well advertise... hehehe!

Claire dela Fuente: TIMELESS
October 17, 2008 (Friday Next Week)
Music Museum
8pm

Featuring: Rico J. Puno, Eva Eugenio, Hayden Kho, Chairman Bayani Fernando, Secretary Angelo Reyes, and RAFAEL DELA FUENTE (me)

Musical direction by Jun Latonio

Directed by RAFAEL DELA FUENTE
(Didn't put in on the poster cause it was decided on after the poster was made)

Tickets Prices:
VIP - php 10,500 | Orchestra A - php 2,500 | Orchestra B - php 2,000 | Balcony - php 1,500
(Yes, these are really the ticket prices. These prices were decided by VIVA)

Tickets are almost sold out. HURRY! (hehe!)

*** Considering the ticket prices and the fact that I will just sing one song, I don't really expect anyone to watch. But if any of you do watch, i would truly appreciate it. hehe!

*** Hopefully VIVA pushes through with the DVD release of the concert. Maybe I can throw a Viewing Party :-)

Anyways, WISH ME LUCK! My directorial debut! shit... I'm nervous...

Change is both scary and exciting. But the bigger the change, the scarier and the more exciting it is.

There are 3 major changes in my life that's about to occur:

1 - My mom is going to have a big concert on October 17 at the Music Museum, and I'm Performing! Me and My mom will perform a duet of "I'll be home for Christmas". And I'm not only performing, I'm DIRECTING THE SHOW! My mom and VIVA likes my vision, and my mom thinks this would allow me to exercise my creative juices (Her words not mine). VIVA record also wants to hire me for future projects, but nothing definite yet. I would invite you guys to the show, but then, are you guys willing to pay at the least 1,500 php for a balcony seat? Center orchestra are called VIP seats and are sold for 10,000 php a seat. It's sold out as of today. These prices are by VIVA; they're producing the show.

2 - My first professional recording is now in stores, well sort of. I sang a duet of "I'll be home for Christmas" with my mom on her new Christmas Album. I honestly didn't like it (Christian de Walden wanted me to sing like Michael Buble cause the song was done in a jazz arrangement). I hated my performance, but with the magic of Lucah (The music engineer), he was able to make me sound good... I think. It's actually playing on the radio now cause VIVA wanted our duet to be one of the released singles. So, VIVA is now promoting me as a singer.

3 - I will be staying in Australian for a year. Robert, my mom's business partner from Australia, wants me to train with him for a year in his office. He owns a major advertising agency that focuses on transit media which he plans to bring here as well (With my mom's help). He hires mostly Filipinos and is here now looking for 10 people to hire. He and my mom thinks I have great potential in adverstising (I always wanted to get into advertising). Robert actually had dinner with us just to try to convince me to work for him, and I have no degree and minimal experience. He wants me to go to Australia before December. Robert provides the lodging and utilities for his employees. Me and my mom have been to the place he lets his employees live and it's a condo/hotel that's right infront of the beach. My mom automatically approved everything, even though it means I will delay finishing college.

On the one hand, I'm excited for these changes. These are great opportunities for me.

On the other hand, I'm scaried. It's all happening so fast. One minute I had so much drama in life, the next I have 3 of my dream careers being handed to me. (Directing, Singing, and Advertising)

Australia for a year? I don't know anyone there. Plus I will miss my friends (You guys) and my family. I have to delay finishing college. adjusting to this change is going to be difficult. I don't know.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy. But then, I can't help but ask "Is there a catch?" 

I guess the guy who designed this was thinking of letting people know what the product smelled like... :D

Talk about symbolism!

HAHAHAHAH!

Something struck me after reading this. I felt this message needed to be spread out more. And so I write it down here.

This is from PAULO COELHO's book "Like The Flowing River" (Thanks to BENCH for this amazing book! I love it Bench! I read it alot!!! Thanks talaga! :D)

WHO WOULD WANT THIS TWENTY DOLLAR BILL?

Cassan Said Amer tells the story of a lecturer who began a seminar by holding up a twenty-dollar bill and asking: ' Who would like this twenty dollar bill?'

Several hands went up, but the lecturer said: 'Before I give it to you, I have to do something.'

He screwed it up into a ball and said: 'Who still wants this bill?'

The hands went up again.

'And what if I do this to it?'

He threw the crumpled bill at the wall, dropped it in the floor, insulted it, trampled on it, and once more showed them the bill - now all creased and dirty. He repeated the question, and the hands stayed up.

'Never forget this scene,' he said. 'It doesn't matter what I do to this money, It is still a twenty-dollar bill. So often in our lives, we are crumpled, trampled, ill-treated, insulted, and yet, despite all that, we are still worth the same.'

:)

A friend speaks to me of how I expect too much from people. And you know what? It's true.

I, like my mother and father, am a perfectionist. It's not an "Every single thing has to be perfect" kinda thing; more of "Everything can be better". That's where my OC-ness comes in. It kicks in every now and then; the urge to put certain things in a certain order. Fixing my room is a good therapy for me; fixing my surroundings is like fixing the thoughts in my head.

I know what you're thinking: PSYCHO!!! hehe. And maybe I am. (Now I shall tap into my inner "mom", open up a motel, and start killing the guest while wearing a wig and dress. yeah right.heheh! - Corny ko noh?)

I've been a very demanding person towards everyone around me: My friends, my family... everyone. I expected everyone to be a certain way. I expected friends to care for me and to never neglect me, and if they did I would immediately take it against them. But my family? I expected the most from them. Maybe that's why I fought a lot with my brother?

I've gotten hurt at lot in my life. Growing up wasn't easy. AT SCHOOL, I had the deal with being teased and being made fun of by most of my classmates (even students not within my batch). AT HOME, I witnessed constant fighting and abuse between my parents (which I sometimes became a part of. I broke my nose once. That's all I'm gonna say.)

My life was never easy. But maybe that's the way I chose to see it. I neglected the good times I had with my classmates, or the great times I had with certain friends. I never considered the best times of my life with my family: those days where it would just be us sitting on the floor of my parents' bedroom in front of our TV with our orders of pizza and whatnot (And the occasional midnight snack... well, it was more of a meal really).

Okay, I've had my share of tragic stories. But now I realize I have better stories; happier times that outweigh the tragedy.

I've been so bitter at the bad things in my past, that I transmit it towards the present sometimes. I end up hurting people; losing friendships I longed to keep.

I know now its wrong. And I'm working on it.

Forgive me if sometimes I can be so angry about things (Anger Management Issues?). I've learned to never let anyone step on me... but I haven't learned to let things go. I've loved myself too much really that when it comes to people, one strike and they're out.

I've learned to forgive, and I do forgive people (Too easily sometimes, says a friend). I'm all about the love really. I've been an Optimist most of my life (The good kind). So what's wrong now? I expect too much. I tend to over analyze things.

I've learned a lot from these past two months; who I am really, what my problems were, and what I need to do. I learned I'm very needy, to the point of desperation. I learned I'm still bitter at the "tragedies" in my past. I leanred that I would be better off if I just let it all go.

So I am letting it all go: the bitterness, the biases, and the expectations.

To those I have hurt or offend in the past, I'm sorry.

I know it can't happen overnight. But please do note: I'm working on it. :)

After much "reflection", I thought what I needed was a new start. So I made a special layout for my blog.

It's entitled "WORK IN PROGRESS", because I am a work in progress. We all are. We all aspire to be good people. We all try to change for the better.

I have a lot of improvements to make, but I'm getting there one step at a time. Please bear with me.

Wish me luck!

Some people thought it was all my fault. Some people don't want to believe me. (Trust issues?) But like I said, I'm innocent.

I finally discovered the reason. It's not pretty (Kinda juvenile), but it's a reason.

I understand. I too have reasons. But I DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE A PUNCHING BAG.

I got a lot more that just a beat down; I got a load of "You're to blame". Some don't even want to take my word for it. What can I do if they don't trust me anymore? I can't force them to believe me. I can only have faith that they are really the people I thought they were. I'm hoping they don't dissapoint me.

In the end, I have no choice but to put up with what has happened. Sometimes, you tend to care more about the people you love than what other people think about you. So I have to just let it go.

It's not easy. I have to just let it go, just like that. I have to be the one who understands. I have to be the one who takes the blame.

This is where true friendships are tested. True friends are always on your side; weither it's your fault or not. They tell you off when you're wrong, and believe you when you're right. But they never condemn you. This is where bad friends are weeded out, leaving you with the friends you should trust.

To those who support, thank you so much. To those who doubted, I don't know what to say.

In most situations, you have to fight for Justice. But there are times where you have to learn to let go for the sake of someone you really love.

I understand. I'm letting go now...